HighBeam Research

Title: Q&A with Darlene Willman, St. Louis Entrepreneur, Public speaker

Date: December 1, 2008 Publication: St. Charles County Business Record Author: Wm Stage

When people call Darlene Willman "Sassy," they don't mean she dishes out impertinent back-talk. It's actually a compliment to a professional speaker, writer and consultant who has honed her talents to helping others achieve their goals.

Willman bills herself as the SASSY Networker, SASSY being an acronym for "Start Attracting Sweet Success Yourself."

A successful entrepreneur, Willman regularly speaks to business and civic groups on getting the most from networking. She also conducts for-profit seminars and workshops for the general public on a variety of business-related topics with an emphasis on personal growth. Some of her upcoming events include an "Attract More Referrals" seminar, a "Goals by AttrACTION Workshop," and "The Art of Relationship Marketing" seminar. And while networking is important, following up on one's contacts and getting referrals is essential. Willman has aced the follow-up; by her own tally she has established relationships with thousands of people coast to coast.

Working from her home, Willman started EZ-Way Web Connections in 2002. From 2005 until this year, she was managing director of eWomenNetwork. The U.S. Small Business Administration has named her as one of its "Women in Business Champion of the Year" for 2008. Willman and her husband and their three children live in St. Peters. Her seminar schedule, philosophy and blog may be accessed at www.SassyNetworker.com.

This year you branded yourself as The SASSY Networker. Why is it important to brand yourself?

"I teach people that it's important to set yourself apart from the competition. You know, to make yourself unique so that people will be attracted to you. And, having stressed that to everyone else, I finally got it myself [laughs]."

How does one actually brand themselves?

"OK, let's say you're a Realtor. There are hundreds of Realtors out there. You need to position yourself a little differently from all the other Realtors. You need to discover what is your true strength, where does your expertise lie, and then think about how you would like to brand yourself and get the word out. And if you are a small-business owner and lack the budget to do a big marketing campaign, we can do micro-branding. This is a way of communicating who you are to an audience without having to put up tons of money. But, most importantly, you've got to try to find a way to separate yourself from what else is out there. You have to stand for something."

Sales people are always coming up with gimmicks to move their products. Would that be a kind of branding?

"Yes, any kind of hook so that people will remember. When I'm out networking, I'll hand out my card which says 'Sassy Networker' and it's cute, the responses I sometimes hear: 'Oh, I've heard of that before!' So the word's getting out. They may not necessarily remember Darlene Willman -- I'm just another name, but 'Sassy Networker' has a catchy ring to it."

What actually is involved in being sassy? Can it get you in trouble?

"To me, it's really about being self-confident and learning how to attract business. If you're an insecure business owner and you're not sure about your product, people probably won't buy from you. So, in my world, if you're confident in what you have, if you believe in what you're doing, then people will be drawn to you like a magnet."

Sure, but if you have a great product, it sells itself no matter how lackluster a business person you are. So I've heard.

"If you have a product that's totally unique and there's no one else around you, then you've cornered the market. But most people don't have that luxury. Most people are in serious competition, and they need an edge to succeed. ... It comes down to an attitude, a push toward excellence. Whenever I hold a seminar I always ask, 'What does Sassy mean to you?' And I get all this great feedback: 'Driven to succeed,' 'Not willing to settle for less,' or 'Rising above the competition.' So there is something developing around the term. Honestly, I want to create this as a movement. I want people to step into the role of being fully successfully."

You know, in physics there is a Law of Attraction, but I think you have a different take on that law?

"Well, the Law of Attraction, to me, is a way of life because when you are trying to create that attraction with others you have to be in alignment with the other person. In essence, like attracts like. But there's so much more to it. Say you want to accomplish something, you not only have to see yourself having it you also have to incorporate the feeling -- what it feels like once you get it. Really, it's a natural process that can apply to any number of the goals that we set in life. I want to be an author, so I put it out there -- I'm going to write this book. I've already got the title, already got several chapters, already got the book cover designed. I'm broadcasting this intention. I am making a commitment, and I have everybody around me supporting me with that. You're putting out that vibration, so to speak, to attract that energy back to you. Make sense?"

Birds of a feather flock together. But this Law of Attraction, does it pertain more to business or to personal relationships?

"I believe business is about relationships. I feel as though you can't have a business relationship with anybody if you don't know them. If they don't like you and trust you, you won't get very far. And granted, personal relationships are very important, but my focus has always been about teaching business owners how to get more business."

Talk for a minute about the fine line between professional and personal relationships.

"There is a fine line. You don't want to share too much personal information, you know, because you're trying to establish that rapport. You want that prospective business associate to believe in you, to respect you and admire you. But, as I mentioned, I'm connected to close to 10,000 people, and I could pick up the phone and spark a conversation with any one of them and it would be right back to where we first met. And it's because I have not only established a professional connection but I've also learned more about that person. What's important to them. What got them started in their businesses. Are they from this area? Do they support a cause? Do they support non-profit organizations? So I try to go further than just what does it take to build their business. It has to have a relationship feel to it as well. To me, that's really important."

You must have a really fat Rolodex.

"[laughs] Yes, and these days I go to great measures to secure it. A few years ago I had a computer crash and lost a lot of information. It was a big learning lesson, because your most valuable asset is your database."

How much of your day is spent talking to these thousands of individuals?

"It depends, because it could be a day for calling people. As I think of them I'll actually pick up the phone and call them just to check on them. That's something I address in my seminars: 'Don't just call somebody when you want something. Don't just reach out to solicit.' Nobody likes to be sold anything, they would rather be the one to inquire themselves and say, 'Hey, I'm interested in what you're talking about, tell me more.'"

So how much of your time is spent talking to these people?

"I'd have to say at least 50 percent of my day is spent reaching out and connecting to my network. The majority of that network is here, but I do network nationwide. What's nice about that, when I travel for business I can call somebody in the area and have lunch with them. So it's nice to have a huge network of friends. Basically, I consider everybody I meet a friend."

You were the managing director of eWomenNetwork. Why do women need their own networking organization? Are they at a disadvantage in a coed setting?

"Well, traditionally men have always had the good old boy network. They were able to go to the golf course, do business with the guys and easily network together. While women tend to be the care-givers in the home environment, so they really don't have the same convenient way of getting outside their boundaries, so to speak."

Switching gears now, which American has most changed the world?

"[Pause] I believe Oprah has. I believe that she has touched more lives and influenced more people on a grand scale."

She's the ultimate networker.

"She is [laughs]! You know the concept of six-degrees of separation? Meaning that you're only six people away from someone you want to meet. Well, I believe that it's even smaller than that. I think it's more like two degrees. Almost every other person that you meet will know somebody who will know somebody who will connect you. And so I'm actually two away from Oprah."

Whom haven't you met that you would like to meet?

"The movie, "The Secret " -- I doubt if you've heard of it -- it was never in the theaters. It was sold through the Internet. It's a series of interviews and dramatizations related to the Law of Attraction, and it created something of a movement that was helped by Oprah and Ellen DeGeneres among others. Anyway, I set my intentions to meet everyone in the movie, all the teachers that were interviewed, and I've met four of them so far. So, I'm working my way through that list."

What was your earliest aspiration? Did you want to follow in the footsteps of someone like Zig Ziegler?

"I had a chance to meet Zig when I lived in Texas, and he's got a lot of great energy. You know, I never saw myself as a motivational speaker, although that seems to be the direction I'm heading. I saw myself as a teacher. I've always been able to communicate well with others. I would have to say I've always been an educator, a speaker of some kind."

You work at giving advice on how to be a better business person or better person in general. What advice do you have for people looking to make a favorable first impression?

"I would tell them it's critical to focus on the other person. Take the focus off yourself, and have faith that it will come back to you. Often, people feel like they have to push themselves out to others, to force their business onto somebody. They go into an exhaustive sales pitch the first time they meet somebody, and that kind of first impression is not one that will be favorable. But if you turn it around and you show genuine concern for the other person and you're fully engaged in the conversation, that person is going to say, 'Wow, she is really interested in me!' And that will really separate you from everybody else."

In short, don't be so stuck on yourself.